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Oh Jeez, She is Angry Again…

27 Dec
Definition of barbeque
abbr. BBQ
NOUN
1.outdoor party with food cooked outdoors: an outdoor party where people eat food cooked on a grill
2.food cooked on grill: food, especially meat, poultry, and fish, cooked on a grill
3.equipment for cooking outdoors: an apparatus, including a grill and fuel, used for cooking food outdoors
[ Mid-17th century. < American Spanish barbacoa, probably < Arawak barbakoa “frame of sticks” ]
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Guess what the definition of BBQ does not include:
1. Meat covered in a sugary-red sauce that you cooked in your crock pot
2. Pulled meat products of any kind that were cooked indoors
3.  Anything that requires electricity to cook.
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I really tried not to start this post with another pissed off rant, but it did not happen once I started looking at recipe blogs this morning.  I do not care what you call it, but if you are cooking indoors you are not making bbq.  You can make pulled pork inside, but you cannot make BBQ pulled pork.  Do you understand?  Real barbecue is a friggin art and takes time and dedication to master.  It makes me angry when you people throw that term around just because there is some sugary red crap on your meat.   I want to beat them with a slab of baby backs until they change the name of their recipe to not include the word barbecue!
Now, while we are on the subject of BBQ, do you want to learn how to do a St. Louis style cut on spare ribs?  Of course you do! Now that we are nice and pissed off let’s go grab a knife!
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This, ladies and gentlemen, is a slab of the finest spare ribs.  Wrapping around one half of the slab is an extra hunk of meat that is not actually part of the ribs themselves, and for aesthetic purposes it is often trimmed off.
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With your fingers you will be able to feel where the excess meat is that is not directly attached to the bones.
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Trim the excess off in an L shape and throw that sh*t in your crock pot for some BBQ pulled pork! Haha.
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Now, we cooked these exactly the same as we always cook spare ribs, because there is no sense in messing with perfection.  So you can follow these instructions.  What you end up with is a nice rectangular slab or ribs that you can use to impress your neighbors, or to stick it to that b*tch at a potluck who brought a tofu salad.
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8 Comments

Posted by on December 27, 2012 in Barbeque, Pork, Technique

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

8 responses to “Oh Jeez, She is Angry Again…

  1. Don in Arkansas

    December 27, 2012 at 11:03 am

    You are definitely preaching to the choir here. Can I get an AMEN? Meat, spice, fire, done.

     
  2. Patrons of the Pit

    December 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Well, that was one of the funnier rib recipes I’ve read in a while. And yes, it is well you have let the people know what real BBQ is. My hat is off to thee. For it would be a shame to have so many misguided souls sauntering about their crock pots, living in deception. You’ve done a service to the BBQ arts, and those who aspire for it. Amen.

     
  3. Noah Matthews

    December 28, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    Ha. Loved this.

     
  4. Kristen

    December 29, 2012 at 6:57 am

    This is funny… and so true! Most people just don’t understand.

     
  5. Russ S

    December 31, 2012 at 9:27 am

    Hey! Don’t waste those trimmings in the crcokpot! If you cut around out the brisket bone, chunk up the meat, and throw it through a ginder (like the kitchenaid attachment) you are left with some killer ground pork to make homeade sausage with. Then you can grill your sausage!

     
    • Primal Smoke

      December 31, 2012 at 9:29 am

      I was joking about throwing it in the crock pot, but thanks, that is a great idea!

       
      • Russ S

        December 31, 2012 at 10:40 am

        Yeah, i figured! Great site!

         
      • Primal Smoke

        December 31, 2012 at 10:47 am

        Thanks!

         

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