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Author Archives: Primal Smoke

Asian Stir-Fry with Seared Ahi

I hope a tanker of human waste explodes in front the home of the CEO of Monsanto. They have actually started an ad campaign just to let the public know that they care about us. They aren’t selling anything like most commercials you see on TV, they are just reassuring public how much they have done for farming and how much they care about our health and the health of the planet. Commercials like this one that make me so angry at the television I end up looking crazier than Charlie Sheen and Gary Busey put together, babbling away and ranting at an inanimate object.

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I seriously can’t handle the stress of having all of this knowledge, ignorance truly is bliss.  Someone get me some chocolate before I have a stroke.

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On to the Asian grill invasion:

  • Sashimi Grade Ahi Tuna- we used 6 filets
  • 5 cups broccoli florets
  • 1 onion
  • 1 bell pepper
  • 2 bunches of radishes
  • 5 cloves of garlic
  • powdered ginger and garlic
  • sesame oil
  • Wasabi flavored SeaSnax, finely chopped(optional)

Let your ahi come to room temperature for at least an hour before cooking.  You do not want perfectly seared ahi on the outside that is frozen in the middle.  Brush your ahi with sesame oil to keep it from sticking to the grates and sprinkle on both sides with garlic, ginger, salt and pepper and set aside.  If you are awesome, you will bust out your Weber Wok to make the stir fry.  Isn’t that thing f*cking wicked?! It is part of the cast iron Gourmet BBQ System.  If you don’t have one of these you can cry in the corner for a while and then get out any grill-friendly pan you have.

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Have you ever had radishes in a stir fry? It is seriously incredible!  Chop all of your veggies and throw them in the wok with a couple tablespoons of water; just a precautionary measure to keep things from drying out.  Ok, now that we are all prepped let’s start-up our coals.  While your fire gets hotter than an illicit celebrity sex tape, you can go prep your sauce.

Whisk together:

  • 1 TB white vinegar
  • 4 TB sesame oil
  • 4 TB coconut aminos
  • 2 TB of powdered garlic
  • 2 TB powdered ginger
  • 1 TB Korean Red Pepper -this is a mild sun-dried red pepper flake, if you are going to sub for  regular crushed red pepper reduce the amount.

Cook your tuna for 90 seconds on each side for rare, and absolutely no longer than two minutes.  These babies cook quick so you have to babysit them.  When all your tuna is cooked, carefully swap out the sear grate for the wok, or just put your grill friendly pan on.  Brush your cooked ahi with a bit of the sauce and set aside while the veggies cook for about 10 minutes on a covered grill.

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Pour your sauce over the veggies and put the cover it back up for another 5-10 minutes, or until everything looks cooked through.  Serve the stir-fry with sliced ahi and a sprinkle of wasabi SeaSnax on the top.

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All of my pictures are terrible, I had one hell of a time trying to get a good picture of this dish for reasons I am not going to get into, because then I will start ranting again…so you are stuck with this…but trust me, it friggin wowtastic.

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“We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.”
-Alfred E. Newman

 

This post is also featured over at The Polivka Family, Real Food Forager, and Growing Home go check it out.

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6 Comments

Posted by on January 15, 2013 in Seafood

 

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Death By Carbs

The moral of the story? Eat more meat!

 
10 Comments

Posted by on January 11, 2013 in Random

 

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Better Know A Smoker Part One: Our First Baby

Our Weber 18.5 inch bullet smoker is and will always be our first love.  Fondly refered to as R2D2 in our house, this baby is the best investment for a beginner interested in smoking.  Seriously, I know the big offset box smokers look really badass, but this one is much better suited for the average person, both in ease of use and size.  Trust me, when they smell those wonderful clouds of smoke and the aroma of BBQ pork coming off this baby, you wont care that you didn’t get the one that makes you look cool.

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The inside of the smoker features two levels for maximum meat cooking and a water pan below.  A water pan is great for the novice because it keep the meat moist, and also helps R2D2 maintain a stable temperature.

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The exterior breaks down into three parts for easy access to all levels, and there is a door on the front for adding more charcoal or running the cords for your probe thermometers.  The Weber brand uses better metal than many other bullet smokers, which will help you keep your temp up on those windy days.

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Also similar in looks to this the ceramic Big Green Egg cooker. This thing is the Le Creuset of smokers, with a price tag to match.  Amazingly high quality if you are prepared to pay for it.  People that own them swear by them, in the same way that we will always recommend a Weber.

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There is our baby, proudly displayed in the back yard as a monument to our first adventure in to BBQ! If you are considering an investment in a smoker, I can not suggest anything other than an 18.5 in Weber Smokey Mountain Cooker.

 
6 Comments

Posted by on January 11, 2013 in Barbeque, basics, Random

 

Chipotle-Cajun Jambalaya

How is everyone doing on their New Year Resolutions so far? I honestly can’t wait until the flood of people give up on their “work out every day” resolution and I have some space at the gym again, jeesh.  I wanted to give up coconut butter for new years, but I knew that would last about an hour so I made a few more reasonable goals.

  • Deadlift double bodyweight
  • Squat 200lbs
  • give up coffee
  • do a whole30/sugar detox hybrid
  • read more books

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I know what you are thinking, I must be f*cking insane giving up coffee,convenience foods, and all fruit and sweet potatoes at the same time, but I don’t like to do anything half-assed.  I am already into my 2nd book this month, real ones too, not the kind with lots of pretty pictures, and I obviously have to slowly work up to my strength based goals, although I am getting really close.  Working out in January sucks though, I wish all these people decided to buy a treadmill instead of a gym membership…at least then they could use it as a coat rack when they quit.

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Ingredients:

  • 4 cloves of garlic
  • 1(or 2…I will explain later) cans of tomatoes
  • 12oz of bone broth, or whatever broth or stock you have on hand
  • 2 bell peppers
  • 1 onion
  • 3 dried chipotles
  • A package of chicken breast tenders, or two chicken breasts sliced up
  • 2 cups of shrimp
  • Pork sausage
  • I also snuck in a handful of kale or two

Ok, so the cajun mirepoix(base veggies for soups) is always bell peppers, celery, and onion; however it was like the apocalypse or something when I went to get celery from Trader Joes because the produce section was bare.  An employee informed me that they did not get a produce truck that day so I was sh*t out of luck.  There goes my cauliflower rice and celery….if you have these things, then by all means please add them to the recipe, but I was not hauling my ass all over Virginia looking for organic celery.

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Lightly grill your chicken tenders, they cook fast so someone should be baby sitting them, that is actually why I used them, because they don’t require a lot of cooking.  They don’t need to be perfectly done, they will finish up in your stew so just a few minutes on each side.  Set aside the shrimp and sausage, then chop everything else up and throw it in your dutch oven, I cut up my chipotles with kitchen shears because it will save you a sh*t ton of time.  D insisted that there was not enough liquid in the pan and that it would not cook right, not wanting to argue about the veggies releasing liquid as they cook I let him throw a second can in, this just made it more like a stew…if you like things on the soupier side add two cans…or don’t…I don’t really care.

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We used hickory wood in the 22.5 inch Webbie and cooked this for about 30 minutes uncovered while the sausage got nice and smokey off to the side.  We then added in about 4TB of cajun-style seasoning:

  • 2 1/2 tablespoons paprika
  • 2 tablespoons Dizzy Pig Swamp Venom (or for Whole30/Sugar Detox sub with salt and add cayenne pepper to taste)
  • 2 tablespoons garlic powder
  • 1 tablespoon black  pepper
  • 1 tablespoon onion powder
  • 1 tablespoon dried oregano
  • 1 tablespoon dried thyme

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Your sausage will be done when the internal temp reaches about 160, slice it up and try not to eat it all while the rest of your food finishes cooking.  After 30 minutes on a grill toss your shrimp into the jambalaya and put the cover on the dutch oven.  Let everything cook for another 20-30 minutes or until everything looks cooked through.  Adjust the seasoning to your taste, we added in a couple extra tablespoons, and serve.

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The hubbs informed me that avocado is not very cajun…you should eat it anyways though because it is delicious.

 
3 Comments

Posted by on January 7, 2013 in Chicken, Pork, Seafood, Soups

 

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Myron Mixon’s Cupcake Chicken

Now, we love the show BBQ pitmasters, but you cannot watch this show without being subjected to the loud mouthed jackass pitmaster known as Myron Mixon.  I personally find him a bit too abrasive, but the hubbs loves him.  Anyway, the show got me thinking, all the people on there have really badass BBQ names, and Derek and Michelle just doesn’t sound quite as cool as Hickory Rick and Shotgun Chelle.  Ok, that was the best I could come up with…maybe they’re not the best pitmaster names, but maybe theyre at least as cool as Paul Diablo, Johnny Trigger, and Tuffy Stone.  I am still working on the names…I need some help.  What do you think?

I know its gross that they cat is on the table, you try telling a cat what to do.

I know its gross that the cat is on the table, you try telling a cat what to do.

So, Myron Mixon does this competition chicken in a cupcake pan, so that the end result is perfectly round and uniform, making for a nice presentation.  So, we got Myron’s top-secret method…which you cannot get from watching the show, you have to shell out 30 bucks for his book of course.  Anyway, we adapted it for Primal Smoke, since we are not too keen on following any recipes that call for 5lbs of sugar and 1 cup of MSG “flavor enhancer.” Seriously, you cannot help but laugh when you read that!

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You will need:

  • A cupcake pan with holes drilled in the bottom, as a bonus, now you cant scarf paleo cupcakes because you don’t have a pan to cook them in.
  • a cookie sheet (we used disposable)
  • enough chicken thighs to put one in each hole…in this case 12
  • bbq rub
  • bbq sauce
  • chicken stock

Ok, so the holes help the meat drain, so that it does not get “water-logged,” A collection of liquids in the muffin pan will ruin your perfect, slightly crisp skin that is so sought after when cooking BBQ chicken.  You can start prepping your meat by cutting the knuckle end off of the bone and trimming the bone down until it fits in your pan.  Trim all the big chunks fat off the edges of the chicken, and especially off the edges of the skin.  I know fat is good for us, but too much fat =soggy, rubbery skin.  Sprinkle a little BBQ rub, or just some salt and pepper on both sides of the chicken thigh and place it skin side down in the pan.

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Be sure to trim off any excessively large chunks of meat that stick out of each little nest and then throw those babies on your smoker.  We used our stick-burner for this one, which is a large offset box that we burn whole logs of wood in, instead of the usual charcoal-wood chips combo that I use for the bullet.  Put the cupcake pan onto a cookie sheet and pour a layer of chicken stock into the cookie sheet, being very careful not to get it on the meat.

Don't use your good bone-broth for this, as you are just going to discard it later

Don’t use your good bone-broth for this, as you are just going to discard it later

Smoke the meat at 275 using a strong wood, we used mesquite which is traditionally not for chicken, but the meat is only in the smoker about as long as the media cared about John Travolta flashing his junk to a hotel masseuse…not very long, so it makes a stronger wood acceptable.  Smoke the chicken for about an hour, or until the internal temp gets to about 140-145, then pull it off, flip the chicken and put it back in the pan skin side up.  Before returning it to the smoker sprinkle the skin with more rub, or salt and pepper, then put it back on the cookie sheet and let it cook for another 30 minutes or so.  Once the internal temp hits 155-160, brush some sauce on top of the chicken and close the lid for another 20-30 minutes.

When they come off the smoker, cover them with some foil and let them rest for about 3 minutes, then glaze again with sauce one more time before serving. Here is a perfect recipe for BBQ sauce, this stuff with make your meat sweet and juicy, like JLo’s backside.

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That’s it for this week, we have been Qing up a storm of Whole30/Sugar Detox compatible foods, so check back next week for more smokey goodness.  Shotgun Chelle signing out!

 
7 Comments

Posted by on January 4, 2013 in Barbeque, Chicken

 

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Baja BBQ Pork Chops

Ok, I know everyone is on the Whole30/Sugar Detox bandwagon right now, but I have a few recipes already lined up that need to be posted.  This recipe could be considered whole30 approved depending on your own personal definition.  In my opinion making paleo BBQ sauces is missing the poing of the whole30, it is paleofying some junk food, but I wont call the paleo police if you are dying to try it (and you should).

"Tell me again what you ate for dinner?"

“Tell me again what you ate for dinner?”

Now, we used out 22.5 inch Weber grill here with this nifty new attachment that has cast iron sear grates.  I love this thing, anyone who regularly cooks with cast iron knows that it is superior for holding heat, my heat for pork chops was higher than Willie Nelson at burning man, resulting in perfect sear marks and quick weeknight cooking.

Definitely worth the investment

Definitely worth the investment

Ingredients:

  • 2 Bone-in pork chops
  • a few tablespoons of cider vinegar and bone broth to make an injection
  • 1 small can tomato paste
  • 2 cups chopped pineapple
  • juice of one lime
  • 1/2 a red onion
  • 1 clove of garlic
  • 3-6 dried chipotles reconstituted in a small amount of hot water
  • chopped cilantro for garnish
Baja Sauce

Baja Sauce

I used 6 chipotle peppers in this recipe, but I enjoy really spicy food, so feel free to tone it down a bit to your liking. Puree all the ingredients for the sauce(Leave out your pork, injection, and garnish), and throw in a saucepan and heat thoroughly to let the flavors combine and thin to desired consistency with water.  Next inject your pork chops with the broth/cider vinegar mixture ans set them aside while you fire up the grill, I left mine out for about an hour because the closer to room temp they are before cooking, the less time they need on the heat.  Just before cooking, give the pork a generous sprinkle of salt and pepper and throw them on a high-heat grill for about 3 minutes a side.  Seriously, do not go anywhere, these babies cook pretty quick so you better babysit them or else you will end up with something tough and inedible.  They should be at about 140F when you pull them off.

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Brush your pork chop with the sauce and let the flavor of victory sink in while the meat rests.  Top with more sauce, sprinkle with cilantro and serve.

I loved these more than Snookie loves spray tans!

I loved these more than Snookie loves spray tans!

 
1 Comment

Posted by on January 2, 2013 in Pork, Sauces

 

2012 up in smoke….

I am totally on the New Years bandwagon here, just giving you lots of old posts because I am too lazy to write out a new one.  I am going to share the best of the best of 2012 just in case you missed it…I have only been up and running since September so you havent missed much though.

oh yeah baby!

oh yeah baby!

The greatest thing I did this year was BBQ brownies.  It is still my number one day of traffic ever….which proves to me that you people suck, seriously, pureeing some sweet potatoes and cooking them in chocolate is not anywhere near as impressive as the perfect brisket.  Still, they rock…we will definitely make them again once all the january sugar detoxing/whole30 hybrid is over. Anyway, there will be a few recipes that overlap here, because I know that nobody is going to sit here and read every link I posted…if you want to, by all means go ahead, and please leave your full name in the comments section so I can spell it properly on the restraining order.

Important lessons:
Planking (and bacon)
Using Skewers
Tempering and Resting your meat
Starting a good fire
Choosing your charcoal
Getting the right big-boy-toys
Basics on using a smoker, and the perfect hunk of meat for a newbie

There is more to be learned about smoking, in 2013 there will be a series called “Better know a smoker” and important information on rubs, BBQ competitions, and other random rants and tirades about why I am right and you are wrong. Now on to the meat…

Juciest pork on the planet

juiciest pork on the planet

In the pork category we have:

Pork Butt
Rib Basics
Bacon…thats right we make our own bacon!
Spare Ribs
Ham
Korean Style Ribs
Pork Stuffed Peppers
BLT Salad made with our own bacon of course
Pork Tenderloin

Smoke rings make me happy

Smoke rings make me happy

The nom-nom-nominees in the beef category are:

Sausagey Beef Burger
Braised Beef Chili
Flank Steak Skewers
Grilled Meatloaf
Ungrilled Meatloaf with bacon
Brisket though the title lies, we did make a better brisket last night burning straight hardwood with no coals.

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Chicken:

Basic BBQ Chicken
Chicken Caesar Salad
Recipe I stole from Michael Symon

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Seafood:

Haddock
Basic Grilled Salmon and grilled squash goodness
Oh look, this recipe again because there is shrimp on it
Dirty South Clam Chowder
Smoked Mackerel Salad

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Breakfast:
I grilled eggs in bell peppers then again in pork

I know that is a big plate, but I don't like my food touching

Game Meat:
Deer Jerky
Bison Burger with smoked applesauce…seriously go make that applesauce, it will change your life.

Liquid gold baby!

Sauces:
Basic Red Sauce aka Liquid Orgasm
Carolina Style Pork Sauce

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Chili and Clam Chowder are obviously also in the new soups category, while Jerky, Smoked Sausage, and Hickory Smoked Mixed Nuts are all under snacks

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Lastly there was a grilled watermelon salad that was amazing, but didn’t really fit in anywhere else

I already have dozens of ideas for 2013, so keep coming back for more smoked meat sexiness and white trash shenanagains

This was a redneck theme birthday party, he doesnt actually wear overalls or beat me.

This was D’s redneck theme birthday party, he doesn’t actually wear overalls or beat me.

 

 
1 Comment

Posted by on December 31, 2012 in Random, Uncategorized

 

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