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Tag Archives: Barbeque

Whole Chickens Part One: Basic Grilled Chicken with Grilled Peach Salsa

Summer is a great time of year for us, we are getting a fresh whole chicken in our CSA box every other week, but there is no way I am turning my oven on for 5 hours in Virginia in the summertime, the temperature consistently stays at a level of uncomfortable which can only be described as “Satan’s ass crack.” So, after some experimenting, we have developed a few fool-proof methods for cooking whole chickens that keep my kitchen at a tolerable temperature.

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Ingredients:

  • One whole chicken
  • BBQ rub
  • two peaches or nectarines
  • a small onion or scallion
  • one tomato
  • one jalapeno pepper
  • juice of one lime
  • fresh herbs: cilantro and parsley work particularly well here
  • coconut oil

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Start off by seasoning your chicken inside and out with your favorite rub, we don’t personally make all of our own rubs, because other companies have spent plenty of time and effort discovering the perfect ratios so that I don’t have to. After your coals heat up, I want you to  divide them up so that the coals are pushed over to each side of the grill with a space in the middle.  Weber makes these neat little baskets you can use for this if you have them, but they aren’t necessary.

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If you have guessed that we are going to put the chicken in the space between the hot coals so that they dripping chicken fat doesn’t cause flare-ups then probably don’t even need to keep reading…just go fire up that grill.

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The bird goes in the middle of the coals breast side down, and we cooked it to about 150-160F before throwing on the ingredients for salsa.

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Finely chop the tomato, sprinkle it with a little salt and pepper and the lime juice then set it aside for later.  Then slice the peaches, onion, and jalapeno in half and lightly brush with coconut oil, before putting them directly over the coals.  Let them cook for a few minutes until they soften and nice grill marks form, this happens pretty quick so don’t wander off.  Flip them over and let them cook for another minute or two before pulling them off the grill.  By this point your chicken should have also reached an internal temp of  at least 165F, which means it is also ready to come off. Chop up the remaining ingredients for your salsa and add in the fresh herbs, the skin should easily pull away from your cooked peaches, it is texturally unappetizing if you leave it on.  Now you are ready to eat, we paired our chicken with a nice cool vinegary cucumber salad which turned out to be the perfect refreshing combination on yet another sweltering hot day.

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Posted by on July 24, 2013 in Chicken

 

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Grill Mods: Dual Zone Thermometers

So we did this a while back but I never posted it…partially because it was in the winter and I was pretty ashamed that we had no grass at that point.  Our yard looked super white trashy at the time, but after putting a pool in the middle of our front yard and waddling my huge pregnant booty out there in a bikini, I figure that my white trashiness has reached the point of no return, so here goes.

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The common question seems to be “Why the front yard?” Because the dogs are in the back and it would take them all of 3 seconds to have torn this thing apart.

Anyways, we went down to our local BBQ store to look for a couple of thermometers to add to the lid of our 22.5″ Weber kettle so we could monitor the temperature and have better control over our dual zone cooking.  We picked up two thermometers and a silicone sealant safe for high temperatures.  You are also going to need a power drill, marking pen, and possibly measuring tape(if you want things to be all nice and symmetrical)

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We (meaning Derek, I just stood there and took pictures), measured out the desired distance and drilled a pilot hole, which is a small guiding “starter hole” before you start putting holes in your grill lid with a giant drill bit.

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We also noticed that there was a small notch on the back of the thermometer, to keep it from turning I am assuming? Not really sure, but it required the drilling of yet another hole as well.

It doesn't have to be pretty, it just has to work

It doesn’t have to be pretty, it just has to work

Put your sealant around the top of the holes and install your thermometer.  Then seal up around the inside of the grill and you are done!

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Let this dry for at least 24 hours before using, and enjoy your new customized Weber grill!

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Posted by on July 11, 2013 in Barbeque, Technique

 

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Beyond Bacon Review and Giveaway!

Unless you have been living under a rock for the past few months, you must have heard the buzz about the new book from the Paleo Parents, Matt McCarry and Stacy Toth. I hesitate to call Beyond Bacon a cookbook because it is so much more than that, this is actually the paleo pork bible, it tells you everything you need to know about purchasing and cooking a whole hog.

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Now, I consider myself to be quite the pork connoisseur, and they still managed to surprise me with the range and variety of recipes included, there is even a BBQ section for those of you with a smoker addiction(although I might have to challenge them to a cook-off for best smoked pork shoulder). The only disappointment is that I didn’t have this in my kitchen sooner, I really could have used this after our last hog aporkalypse when I was stuck with what seemed like an endless supply of pork chops.

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This book on it’s own is truly a piece of art, with rustic photography on each page more beautiful than the last but once you start to indulge in these recipes you will have a new appreciation for all parts of the hog. A couple of my favorites so far are the smoked pork belly, Italian tomato pork chops, and the salted mocha biscotti and I even tried my hand at making my own lard, caramel fudge and pancetta.

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Pancetta in progress

Ok, so I know you are sick of listening to me rave about Beyond Bacon, so I will stop myself before I ramble on all day.  I love this book, and you clearly need it, luckily Matt and Stacy sent along an extra copy, so here is your chance to win one…

Beyond Bacon Cookbook Giveaway

Good luck!

 
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Posted by on June 18, 2013 in Bacon, Pork, Random

 

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Better Know a Smoker Part 3: So You’re a Yuppie…

Since it has been a while, you might want to catch up on Part 1 and Part 2 before starting with this one.  This is my final piece of advice for someone looking to buy their perfect summer BBQ; and that advice is not to buy pellet and electric smokers, they are not real smokers.

The Pellet Smoker

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This piece of [worthless] equipment does all the work for you….sounds like a BBQers dream come true, just set it and forget it.  Of course not everything that is easy is better.  Case and point fast food.  Enough said.  Many pellet smokers have built-in temperature control, keeping the smoker between 225 and 250 which is really a problem if you want to cook anything besides pork.  We like to smoke our famous briskets around 300 to break down the connective tissue and trust me we have tried cooking brisket low and slow…it ended up like shoe leather.  Smoked salmon or jerky on the other hand needs to be around 175 so having the ability to control the temperature yourself is imperative.

Also, check out any BBQ message board and you’ll see that people tend to complain about the lack of smoke flavor from these compressed processed pellets.  In fact, even if you have a pellet smoker that you can crank the heat up with, the higher the temps cooking with these pellets, the less smoke flavor you get because they burn very cleanly.

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Just like a big mac is not food…this is not wood!

And don’t forget, since pellet smokers are automatic, they have parts that can break, like a motor and electronics systems.

Even the man himself, Myron Mixon said at a pitmaster competition, “Man I know I got this thing won when I see the other team fire up a pellet smoker.”

The Electric Smoker

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Is that a mini-fridge? Nope, that is the saddest excuse for a smoker that you can possible waste your money on.  Sure, they do have a place in resturaunts, since the people cooking can’t maintain the temps on dozens of racks of ribs at a time…unless of course you are in the south, we still cook over open flame pits down here. However, these have no place in your backyard.  In fact, if you own one of these get off my blog, close out this window immediately, you are not allowed to use any of my recipes.

The flavor on these is inferior to even the pellet smoker, and don’t ever expect to get that beautiful bark or crispy chicken skin on one of these machines.  Hell, most competitions wont even allow electric smokers.  Enough said…just dont do it.

 
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Posted by on April 25, 2013 in Barbeque, basics

 

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Leftovers: Italian Pulled Pork Two Ways

Ok, so you just made a whole pork shoulder over the weekend, now what the hell are you supposed to do with all the leftovers? If you are like me, you will get sick of eating that much BBQ, there is only so much of the same food I can eat before saying f*ck it, and end up giving the leftovers to the dogs.

Please please please can we have some? Look we are sitting pretty!

Please please please can we have some? Look we are sitting pretty!

Anyone who knows how big an entire pork shoulder is knows how necessary these leftover recipes are.  You will need:

  • 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
  • 3 TB dried basil and oregano
  • 1 tea of onion powder
  • 6 cloves of garlic
  • 2/3 cup sun-dried tomatoes chopped(I get mine dried like raisins, but packed in oil will work too)
  • 1/2 an onion
  • a sprinkle of parsley
  • crushed red pepper (to taste)
  • 2 cans of diced tomatoes(I buy the tetra-paks that are 26 ounces, but the cans are usually 14 ounces)

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Heat the sauce in a dutch oven and stir until everything is combined.  Add in your leftover pulled pork and heat thoroughly. Sprinkle with parsley and serve!

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Wait….there’s more! No BBQ? No problem(I am talking to you Megan).   You can take a pork shoulder roast or picnic roast, and cook it indoors too.  I have had it both ways and it is equally delicious!

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Like so

Preheat the oven to 250F and start warming up your dutch oven on the stove with a bit of cooking oil.  If you don’t have a dutch oven use a heavy for browning skillet and then transfer the pork to a roaster or oven safe pan with a lid or covered in tin foil(maybe even a crock pot if you want to throw it on before work and come home to a perfect dinner). Add in the balsamic vinegar and deglaze the tasty bits off the bottom of the pan, then add in your sauce ingredients.  Stir until combined, then cover and put that awesomeness in the oven for 4-5 hours.  After a few hours, check the pork, it should start to pull apart easily.  Pull the chunks you can apart, give it a quick stir, and back in the oven for another hour or two.

I did not really time this, I just left it in the oven all afternoon.  Once it breaks apart into pulled pork easily it is done! I usually check periodically, then turn the oven down to 175 or off and leave it in there until my hubby gets home to enjoy that deliciousness.  Chances are you will not burn this if it stays in for a few extra hours.

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Also the SousVide and TX Bar Organics recipe showdown voting is up, please take a minute to vote for Primal Smoke and get yourself entered to win a great gift card! What BBQer wouldnt want 200$ of free beef?

 
4 Comments

Posted by on January 29, 2013 in Pork

 

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SousVide Surf and Turf Benedict

In case you haven’t heard, the SousVide  and TX Bar Organics paleo blogger challenge is in full effect.  Please take a minute and vote(for me of course).  Anyone who votes is automatically entered to win one of the $200 gift cards.  Here is the badass breakfast recipe I created for the challenge…

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Ingredients:

  • 1.5lbs of cooked snow crab legs or approx one cup of crab meat
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 teaspoon of Old Bay seasoning
  • 3 cloves of garlic minced
  • 1 finely chopped jalapeno
  • 1/4 teaspoon of onion powder
  • 12 tablespoons of minced red onion
  • 1-2 tablespoons of coconut flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon of duck fat + extra for frying
  • 2 TX Bar Organics grass-fed filet mingons
  • salt and pepper

Ok, I am going to commit a meat sin here for the sake of competition, I am going to take the worlds most perfect cut of beef and slice it open and mutilate it prior to cooking…please don’t be afraid, I am a professional.

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Start by gutting your crab legs and mixing the meat with one egg, garlic, jalapeno, onion, and the spices. Add in one TB of coconut flour and check the consistency, you may want to add a bit more (slowly), so that it holds together.

Next, take that beautiful TX Bar steak and cut it lengthwise almost all the way through, to form a pocket for all your tasty crab stuffing. Salt and pepper both the insides and outsides of the steaks, if you don’t salt your food you don’t love the people you are cooking for! Top each steak with 1/4 teaspoon of duck fat and seal them into a SousVide pouch. Before you go to bed, throw the steaks into a SousVide water oven, at 54 degrees Celsius(just over 129F).

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In the morning, your delicious breakfast will be ready and waiting. Heat up a cast iron skillet and sear the steaks on each side in a bit of fat to get a nice brown crust. Now, I know that benedict style breakfasts are usually served with a poached egg, but I haven’t poached a d*mn thing since I went paleo…why bother when fried eggs are so much better(and easier). Place one egg, fried in duck fat, on top of each steak and smother with coconut hollandaise.

Creamy Coconut Hollandaise ingredients:

  • 1/3 cup coconut cream
  • 3 egg yolks
  • 1 tablespoon coconut oil
  • a squeeze of fresh lemon juice
  • 2 tablespoons chopped chives
  • 1/4-1/2 teaspoon Old Bay
  • salt and pepper to taste

Put the egg, lemon juice, and coconut cream into a bain marie(glass bowl over a pot of boiling water), and whisk like your life depends on it. Seriously, just keep whisking until you think your arm is going to fall off. Slowly steam in melted coconut oil and continue to whisk until the mixture is emulsified. Mix in your chives and spices to taste, this sauce will thicken up as the eggs cook. Garnish your meal with some chopped chives and fresh grated horseradish(optional) This is the only breakfast delicious enough to stand on it’s own without the addition of bacon, that is no small feat, but feel free to serve with bacon if you’re feeling frisky(your tastebuds will thank you).

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Posted by on January 28, 2013 in Beef, Breakfast, Seafood

 

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Better Know A Smoker Part Two: The Offset Box

There is one main reason why people what an offset box smoker…because they look really f*cking cool! You look like a serious BBQ professional with one of these big bad boys in your backyard.  Lets figure out what an offset box smoker really is, and the pros and cons of owning one.

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On the left you see where the barrel where charcoal or wood is burned, we use ours almost exclusively as a stick-burner.  The larger barrel is where you cook all of that delicious meat.  One can imagine that the obvious problem with these grills is one side ends up much hotter than the other, this can lead to some pretty depressing sunday afternoons when you end up eating takeout staring at all of the beautiful meat you ruined.  There are dozens of cheap offset box smokers out there, and you really do get what you pay for.  Cheaper metals, and poorly designed leaks and gaps around the door and chimney can cause you to lose heat, and have temperature variations of up to 100 degrees from end to end.

Don't use your good bone-broth for this, as you are just going to discard it later

Our big boy BBQ

If you already have one of these you are in luck, you can use any heat safe silicone sealant to close up the gaps.  Remember, the only place smoke should be coming out of the smoker is the chimney, so if you see it leaking out the door, run to the hardware store as fast as you can and seal that thing tighter than a pair of hipster jeans.  There is also a great way to test for hot-spots found here, those can easily be fixed with a convection plate in the bottom of the smoker.  If you are in the market for one of these smokers but don’t feel like doing modification, there are several high-quality brands that will make a great addition to your backyard.

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Ok, maybe you don’t have to go that high-end, but please consider that a smoker is a serious investment.  If you get one that does not work properly, you will not use it, and then you have just wasted a substantial amount of money on something that will turn into a rusty eye-sore that could probably get you fined by the home-owners association.

Don't be a victim!

Don’t be a victim!

Horizon and Oklahoma Joe make an incredible product, definitely worth the investment, or you could swallow your pride and get yourself barrel smoker, you wont have the ego inflating large size that we love to brag about in this country, but you get consistent temps and a very user-friendly design with little to no modification needed.  If you still have your heart set on an offset box smoker, look for one that is made out of thick metal, to help keep temperatures consistent.  A little shopping around at any BBQ store and you can feel which ones are made with high-quality materials and which ones are Chinese pieces of crap.  Thin metal simply cannot hold the heat the same.  Inspect the smoker and look for tight seals, or prepare to modify the smoker yourself with a little sealant, it really takes less than an hour to give yourself a superior meat machine.

 

And remember…BBQ is not a hobby, it is a way of life

 
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Posted by on January 23, 2013 in Barbeque, Random

 

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Frog Leg and Filet Faileo

I love it when a recipe comes together…this however is not one of those times.  I grabbed some frog legs at the store and figured I could do what I always do, experiment in the kitchen and be lucky enough to have it turn out perfect.  What I should have done is look for a recipe ahead of time before I decided to throw those b*tches on the BBQ

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Here is what I started with,

  • 4 pairs of frog legs
  • Juice from one lemon
  • 1/2 cup olive oil
  • 1 t coriander and onion powder
  • 2 cloves of garlic
  • 2 TB white vinegar
  • 3 beef tenderloin steaks
  • salt and pepper

I mixed all of the ingredients except the meat together in a bag and threw in the frog legs, they marinated in there for about 3ish hours.  I then cooked the delicate meat on the grill for 60-90 seconds per side.  These are prone to getting tough and drying out so don’t leave them on too long.

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Whoever said these things taste like chicken is on drugs…they are not like any chicken I have ever tasted, and I have put some questionable food-like substances in my mouth in the past! If I were to cook frog legs on the grill again, I will marinate for at least 48 hours and glaze them with a vibrant sauce.  They just don’t have any flavor on their own and they really need some things that are not whole30 approved to make them edible(like sugar)! I know why most people batter and deep-fry these little guys.

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Now, here is a little tip for cooking beef tenderloin steaks.  When You pull them out of the package they just do not look pretty and perfectly round like what you get in a restaurant, so tie around the edges with some butcher twine and it will help mold your steak, like beautiful beefy play-doh.  The only thing you need to season these with is salt and coarse ground pepper, anything more would be a crime.  Cook them on the grill for 5-7 minutes a side, and don’t forget to let them rest before serving.

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So there you have it, the worlds best steak and the worlds worst amphibian.  Seriously, those frog legs were friggin gross! I would eat them in a survivalist situation if left with no other options, but I am pretty sure I would eat my cat before trying to catch those slippery little f*ckers….sorry Lyra

Noooooooo

Noooooooo

 
7 Comments

Posted by on January 22, 2013 in Beef, Random, Seafood

 

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Asian Stir-Fry with Seared Ahi

I hope a tanker of human waste explodes in front the home of the CEO of Monsanto. They have actually started an ad campaign just to let the public know that they care about us. They aren’t selling anything like most commercials you see on TV, they are just reassuring public how much they have done for farming and how much they care about our health and the health of the planet. Commercials like this one that make me so angry at the television I end up looking crazier than Charlie Sheen and Gary Busey put together, babbling away and ranting at an inanimate object.

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I seriously can’t handle the stress of having all of this knowledge, ignorance truly is bliss.  Someone get me some chocolate before I have a stroke.

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On to the Asian grill invasion:

  • Sashimi Grade Ahi Tuna- we used 6 filets
  • 5 cups broccoli florets
  • 1 onion
  • 1 bell pepper
  • 2 bunches of radishes
  • 5 cloves of garlic
  • powdered ginger and garlic
  • sesame oil
  • Wasabi flavored SeaSnax, finely chopped(optional)

Let your ahi come to room temperature for at least an hour before cooking.  You do not want perfectly seared ahi on the outside that is frozen in the middle.  Brush your ahi with sesame oil to keep it from sticking to the grates and sprinkle on both sides with garlic, ginger, salt and pepper and set aside.  If you are awesome, you will bust out your Weber Wok to make the stir fry.  Isn’t that thing f*cking wicked?! It is part of the cast iron Gourmet BBQ System.  If you don’t have one of these you can cry in the corner for a while and then get out any grill-friendly pan you have.

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Have you ever had radishes in a stir fry? It is seriously incredible!  Chop all of your veggies and throw them in the wok with a couple tablespoons of water; just a precautionary measure to keep things from drying out.  Ok, now that we are all prepped let’s start-up our coals.  While your fire gets hotter than an illicit celebrity sex tape, you can go prep your sauce.

Whisk together:

  • 1 TB white vinegar
  • 4 TB sesame oil
  • 4 TB coconut aminos
  • 2 TB of powdered garlic
  • 2 TB powdered ginger
  • 1 TB Korean Red Pepper -this is a mild sun-dried red pepper flake, if you are going to sub for  regular crushed red pepper reduce the amount.

Cook your tuna for 90 seconds on each side for rare, and absolutely no longer than two minutes.  These babies cook quick so you have to babysit them.  When all your tuna is cooked, carefully swap out the sear grate for the wok, or just put your grill friendly pan on.  Brush your cooked ahi with a bit of the sauce and set aside while the veggies cook for about 10 minutes on a covered grill.

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Pour your sauce over the veggies and put the cover it back up for another 5-10 minutes, or until everything looks cooked through.  Serve the stir-fry with sliced ahi and a sprinkle of wasabi SeaSnax on the top.

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All of my pictures are terrible, I had one hell of a time trying to get a good picture of this dish for reasons I am not going to get into, because then I will start ranting again…so you are stuck with this…but trust me, it friggin wowtastic.

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“We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.”
-Alfred E. Newman

 

This post is also featured over at The Polivka Family, Real Food Forager, and Growing Home go check it out.

 
6 Comments

Posted by on January 15, 2013 in Seafood

 

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Chipotle-Cajun Jambalaya

How is everyone doing on their New Year Resolutions so far? I honestly can’t wait until the flood of people give up on their “work out every day” resolution and I have some space at the gym again, jeesh.  I wanted to give up coconut butter for new years, but I knew that would last about an hour so I made a few more reasonable goals.

  • Deadlift double bodyweight
  • Squat 200lbs
  • give up coffee
  • do a whole30/sugar detox hybrid
  • read more books

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I know what you are thinking, I must be f*cking insane giving up coffee,convenience foods, and all fruit and sweet potatoes at the same time, but I don’t like to do anything half-assed.  I am already into my 2nd book this month, real ones too, not the kind with lots of pretty pictures, and I obviously have to slowly work up to my strength based goals, although I am getting really close.  Working out in January sucks though, I wish all these people decided to buy a treadmill instead of a gym membership…at least then they could use it as a coat rack when they quit.

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Ingredients:

  • 4 cloves of garlic
  • 1(or 2…I will explain later) cans of tomatoes
  • 12oz of bone broth, or whatever broth or stock you have on hand
  • 2 bell peppers
  • 1 onion
  • 3 dried chipotles
  • A package of chicken breast tenders, or two chicken breasts sliced up
  • 2 cups of shrimp
  • Pork sausage
  • I also snuck in a handful of kale or two

Ok, so the cajun mirepoix(base veggies for soups) is always bell peppers, celery, and onion; however it was like the apocalypse or something when I went to get celery from Trader Joes because the produce section was bare.  An employee informed me that they did not get a produce truck that day so I was sh*t out of luck.  There goes my cauliflower rice and celery….if you have these things, then by all means please add them to the recipe, but I was not hauling my ass all over Virginia looking for organic celery.

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Lightly grill your chicken tenders, they cook fast so someone should be baby sitting them, that is actually why I used them, because they don’t require a lot of cooking.  They don’t need to be perfectly done, they will finish up in your stew so just a few minutes on each side.  Set aside the shrimp and sausage, then chop everything else up and throw it in your dutch oven, I cut up my chipotles with kitchen shears because it will save you a sh*t ton of time.  D insisted that there was not enough liquid in the pan and that it would not cook right, not wanting to argue about the veggies releasing liquid as they cook I let him throw a second can in, this just made it more like a stew…if you like things on the soupier side add two cans…or don’t…I don’t really care.

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We used hickory wood in the 22.5 inch Webbie and cooked this for about 30 minutes uncovered while the sausage got nice and smokey off to the side.  We then added in about 4TB of cajun-style seasoning:

  • 2 1/2 tablespoons paprika
  • 2 tablespoons Dizzy Pig Swamp Venom (or for Whole30/Sugar Detox sub with salt and add cayenne pepper to taste)
  • 2 tablespoons garlic powder
  • 1 tablespoon black  pepper
  • 1 tablespoon onion powder
  • 1 tablespoon dried oregano
  • 1 tablespoon dried thyme

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Your sausage will be done when the internal temp reaches about 160, slice it up and try not to eat it all while the rest of your food finishes cooking.  After 30 minutes on a grill toss your shrimp into the jambalaya and put the cover on the dutch oven.  Let everything cook for another 20-30 minutes or until everything looks cooked through.  Adjust the seasoning to your taste, we added in a couple extra tablespoons, and serve.

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The hubbs informed me that avocado is not very cajun…you should eat it anyways though because it is delicious.

 
3 Comments

Posted by on January 7, 2013 in Chicken, Pork, Seafood, Soups

 

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